lost.

I'm feeling in a blog rut... and I'm in a mood.
So this is what you get.
(And it's my blog, and I'll blog what I want to.)

A while back I lost a blog reader.
As in, someone told me they don’t read my blog anymore.
And that they hadn’t been reading for a number of months.

Who it is isn’t important to share here.
But who it is, and the fact that they don’t read here anymore, is important to me.
I think that the 'who it is' is what hurts me the most. 
But.  We are all entitled to do as we please.
And I do respect that.
And I still love this person very much.
Whether they read here or not.

I wrote the body of this post while I was dealing with the whole ‘why is this blog so important to me that is hurts to know that this one particular person isn’t reading it anymore’. I debated posting it.  I still wonder if I should or not.  It's a little more than I typically share on here.  But.  I feel like sharing my feelings is ok.

I get my feelings hurt very easy. I get sad. Upset. Mad. Feel alone. Unappreciated.
Sometimes it helps to write things out.
Sometimes it helps to be ok with my feelings.
Most times that helps.
I am human after all.

Why do you blog?
(Why do I blog.)

For myself. For my kids.
To showcase pictures.
To document our lives.
To remember conversations.
And activities. Recipes. Craftiness.
Ideas. Deals. Links to other interestings.
Someone else may be looking for just that one thing.

To be proud of ourselves
To remind us of what is good in our lives.
Not that there is only good in our lives.
That is far from the truth.
But the blog is the good stuff.
Basically.

To relate to others.
Relate with others.
To share what I am going though as a wife and mother.
Because so many of us are out there.
Looking for people who are just like us.
Busy. Tired. Overwhelmed.
But blessed beyond measure.
It’s nice to know we aren’t alone.
We aren’t as different as we think.

My blog doesn’t talk back or judge.
(The way that I do. The way that I am.)
It doesn’t expect me to do the things that it thinks I should do.
It doesn’t talk down to me for writing it.
Or call me selfish. Because I am writing about myself.
It likes the details of my life.
And doesn’t think I share too much.
It lets me be.
It’s just another creative outlet that I allow myself.
A creative outlet that I really truly enjoy.
To reflect on the things that I need to reflect on.
The good stuff.

So… that’s what I wrote a while back.
But. When I say I blog ‘for myself. For my kids.’
That’s not the whole truth.
I blog because I want to, yes.
But I also blog to share with all of you.
My readers.
Family. Friends. Online friends.
Whoever you are.
It’s for you too.

I'm not looking for sympathy.
And I'm certainly not looking for anyone to bash me for enjoying my blog.
Or to talk down to the person who no longer reads.
We can all make our own decisions.
Do what you want.
Or what you don't want.

Just wanted to get it out.
I'm a person. I'm fairly normal.
My feelings get hurt.
But I try to get over it.
Being open and honest helps me feel better.
Even if it is via this silly little blog.
Hugs.