12.10.2010

lost.

I'm feeling in a blog rut... and I'm in a mood.
So this is what you get.
(And it's my blog, and I'll blog what I want to.)

A while back I lost a blog reader.
As in, someone told me they don’t read my blog anymore.
And that they hadn’t been reading for a number of months.

Who it is isn’t important to share here.
But who it is, and the fact that they don’t read here anymore, is important to me.
I think that the 'who it is' is what hurts me the most. 
But.  We are all entitled to do as we please.
And I do respect that.
And I still love this person very much.
Whether they read here or not.

I wrote the body of this post while I was dealing with the whole ‘why is this blog so important to me that is hurts to know that this one particular person isn’t reading it anymore’. I debated posting it.  I still wonder if I should or not.  It's a little more than I typically share on here.  But.  I feel like sharing my feelings is ok.

I get my feelings hurt very easy. I get sad. Upset. Mad. Feel alone. Unappreciated.
Sometimes it helps to write things out.
Sometimes it helps to be ok with my feelings.
Most times that helps.
I am human after all.

Why do you blog?
(Why do I blog.)

For myself. For my kids.
To showcase pictures.
To document our lives.
To remember conversations.
And activities. Recipes. Craftiness.
Ideas. Deals. Links to other interestings.
Someone else may be looking for just that one thing.

To be proud of ourselves
To remind us of what is good in our lives.
Not that there is only good in our lives.
That is far from the truth.
But the blog is the good stuff.
Basically.

To relate to others.
Relate with others.
To share what I am going though as a wife and mother.
Because so many of us are out there.
Looking for people who are just like us.
Busy. Tired. Overwhelmed.
But blessed beyond measure.
It’s nice to know we aren’t alone.
We aren’t as different as we think.

My blog doesn’t talk back or judge.
(The way that I do. The way that I am.)
It doesn’t expect me to do the things that it thinks I should do.
It doesn’t talk down to me for writing it.
Or call me selfish. Because I am writing about myself.
It likes the details of my life.
And doesn’t think I share too much.
It lets me be.
It’s just another creative outlet that I allow myself.
A creative outlet that I really truly enjoy.
To reflect on the things that I need to reflect on.
The good stuff.

So… that’s what I wrote a while back.
But. When I say I blog ‘for myself. For my kids.’
That’s not the whole truth.
I blog because I want to, yes.
But I also blog to share with all of you.
My readers.
Family. Friends. Online friends.
Whoever you are.
It’s for you too.

I'm not looking for sympathy.
And I'm certainly not looking for anyone to bash me for enjoying my blog.
Or to talk down to the person who no longer reads.
We can all make our own decisions.
Do what you want.
Or what you don't want.

Just wanted to get it out.
I'm a person. I'm fairly normal.
My feelings get hurt.
But I try to get over it.
Being open and honest helps me feel better.
Even if it is via this silly little blog.
Hugs.

16 comments:

Rorie said...

Vent away my friend! I would have my feelings hurt if that happened to me too. I too, am easily hurt by things that I perhaps shouldn't let bother me but I do.
And that's the cool thing about having a blog. You can write whatever you feel like! :)

Anonymous said...

Never stop blogging! I look forward to your posts. I look at the website everyday hoping to see pictures of your beautiful family and I like to pop over to your site to see what your family has been up to lately or what creative food you have made. You make my day! Miss you!

Courtney

April Poknis said...

i love reading your blog! don't stop blogging :)

sarah said...

i'm sorry that happened to you :( i love reading your blog, seeing your children + hearing their antics, recipes + crafty adventures. keep it up girl.

and p.s.
if it makes any difference there are a few friends that i wish DIDN'T read my blog. sometimes i feel like because they read about things, they don't actually talk to me. does that make sense? like they don't need to call me up or email me to see what's new because they just read about it. (and they are VERY rarely comment).

so...i can somewhat relate. just on a different level.
ish.
sorta.

(sorry i rambled!)
xx.

rmeyfe said...

I know how you feel. I noticed that one of my FB friends left me and I agonized over it. I obessed about it. And then one day I realized that it really didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I haven't been a good blogger lately because I have been really busy and I know that people have stopped reading because I stopped posting for long periods of time but you know what, really I don't blog or post on FB for anyone but myself and as long as want to do it then I will. Sending you hugs! Know you will always by read by the people who matter!

Anonymous said...

hugs back at ya. aunt t

Twinkies and Us said...

I love your blog and I'm happy you do it. I do feel the same as the other commenter as sometimes it becomes a one way communication source. People forget to call or e-mail because they know what is going on, but it would still be nice to hear from them every now and then :)

Your blog reader you lost is the one who is losing out. You have great posts and a wonderful famiy.. love you!

Katie said...

I love you jen. I wouldn't stress out about it. I blog for me too and I am okay with it and love it!

Jen said...

I completely understand! I have the same reaction when someone tells me they don't read my blog anymore (or at all!) It is a normal response. But remind yourself that there are still plenty of us reading...and you are blogging for yourself anyway!

arminda said...

I'm so glad you blog. Otherwise how would we have met? :) I think it's perfectly OK to share the good and the not so good stuff. Life is far from perfection and that's just that. :) I'm sorry you've been hurt. I know how much that stinks. :( *hugs*

Sam said...

In a time when a lot of people were wandering away from the blogosphere, it was refreshing to find you when I did. Keep it coming and do it for whatever reasons you want to. You obviously have a great following, and with that may also bring some haters. Good luck dealing with them... you deserve them. And I hope you know that was a compliment.

Jen said...

I love your blog! You keep me motivated! I loved your cute family picture. Thanks for thinking of us. Hope you have a merry Christmas!

erin said...

Do you think this person meant that they were purposely avoiding reading your blog and would not read your blog again, or just hadn't been reading any blogs? Perhaps that person was in a rut themselves? I know I am guilty of neglecting my Google Reader list, but am always happy to get back to it when time/mood aligns. Regardless, I am sorry your feelings were hurt.

Swedish Mama said...

Sorry you were hurt, that is never fun, but it is part of life and you will be stronger for it. As stated, they are the losers, maybe your life is too happy compared to theirs.

I have five blogs I check more than others, I am sure you know who three of them are. Yours is one of them...the fifth is another young family. Love families, and yours. You, Dave, Lily and Cohen are very special to me.

denise said...

I am thankful for your blog and the friendship that we have formed because of it :) Thank you for sharing and for being an inspiration to so many of us! xoxo

Love.Peace.Happiness said...

I love YOUR BLOG!!! I am sensitive too! Please dont stop writing and showcasing your family and your feelings! You are a blessing! I am ready to give up FACEBOOK!!! Decisions, discipline and more time to scrapbook! Peace, Jen!!

Daphne

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